Good-Bye for now, Granny Goose

It has been a little over 2 months since that night.  It was a Sunday, we watched the Superbowl that day, hoping for the Seahawks to win, but it really didn’t matter.  We sat and watched, waiting, crying, praying, knowing there were angels in our midst, preparing her way. Nurses and aides came in and out of her room, asking if there was anything they could do, anything they could get for us. There were some who shared our burden, as they had gotten to know her. They had come to understand the hole that would be left in our lives when she passed on. It had been hours since we had heard her sweet voice.  Hours since she stared into our eyes, loving us as we are and without holding anything back.  She loved us, we knew that. And she knew of our love for her…that is the way we live.  Always make sure to say it and show it…love is too important to hide from those you love. We wondered if we should leave to get something to eat. We knew we shouldn’t leave. The time was drawing near…we felt it.  We knew it. Grama looked comfortable…finally. Downton Abby started and we settled in to watch, because that is what we do…Downton Abby together.  The TV show would have to wait. The opening credits had barely begun…it seemed like time had suddenly stopped in that little room. We held hands with tears flowing as we said good- bye for now to the woman who had always loved us and encouraged us.

The angels were there as Granny Goose breathed her last breath on this earth. The day she had waited for and hoped for had come…she slipped away from us to her new home, to walk in the presence of the Lord. And now, as the days slip by, we work at getting used to life here without her.  She promised to save us a good spot! My mind is on her today, truth be told, it is on most days. My birthday will be here soon. I will miss hearing her tell the story of that day, how “tickled” she was to hear “It’s a girl!” It’s funny…we miss her so, and yet, we rejoice for where she is now!

2 Corinthians 5:6-8 So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.

Don’t Be So Tents

I LOVE sleeping outside!  I love TENTS and camping and just being out.  That is not a good thing when surrounded by non-campers!  We set up our tent the other day and there was that excitement, that little jump for joy feeling inside of me that I always got as a kid when we made a new fort or put up a tent.  I just like doing it.  I remember, when Bryan was a wee one, building forts in the house or outside and pretending to be mountain men or army guys or mountain climbers…whatever Bryan came up with.  Loved it!  We camped as a family for a few years, but, no one else care much for that fun anymore…bummer.

One camping trip, one of my favorites, Bryan was two years old and we planned for two days in Little Falls, Minnesota.  That summer our goal was to camp in as many state parks as possible.  We arrived at our spot, excited as always for our adventure and was able to get the tent up and a fire going before the rain started. We knew it might rain, but we had not counted on the hard, hard, hard rain that flooded our little campsite and made the rest of our setting up quite challenging. Bryan was oblivious and stayed in the tent jumping on the airbeds that lined the floor. Having the freedom to jump, knowing that Mom was preoccupied, was more joy than a toddler could stand!  Kent and I took turns with the umbrella and the one warm jacket we had with us.  We did not plan on rain for two days straight.  It was hard to be cheerful and there was the temptation to pack it up and go home…but we stayed.  I hate to admit it, but knowing there was a Walmart down the road a piece, Kent had an idea.  We drove into town, bought several tarps and rope and went back “home”.  In no time at all, our box of lemons became beautiful lemonade and we had a covered campsite with a fire going, coffee brewing and foil dinners bubbling in the coals.  It was awesome!  We had so much fun it was almost, I said almost sad when the rain stopped.  When the sun came out, and we were removing our wonderful tarps, Kent had another idea….”Let’s stay another night!”  We did and it was wonderful!

So, my cousin and I put up the tent, mostly because I have been curious about its condition, since it had been rolled up and stored in a bin for the last almost 10 years.  It took some pondering and trial and error, but I figured it out and up she went!  I am glad I decided to sleep in it last night.  The air was perfect.  The bull frogs at the lake were bellowing out their song all night, there were slithery sounds in the Day Lilly beds just three feet from my head outside of the tent, and every so often there were soft thuds against the roof and walls of the tent.  I assume the thuds were the poor bugs, out, following their bug highway, taking it for granted that there will not be a huge nylon structure blocking their paths so late in the night.  For what it is worth, tiny bugs, I am sorry.  One would think I spent the whole night awake, but I didn’t.  I slept really well…better than I have in months!  If there hadn’t been little drips plopping on me as the sun warmed up I might have stayed out there for a good long while!

Psalm 148:3-5

Praise him, sun and moon, praise him, all you shining stars! Praise him, you highest heavens, and you waters above the heavens! Let them praise the name of the LORD! For he commanded and they were created.

I want to spend more time doing what brings joy, what lifts the spirits and takes me back to the “when I was a kid” feelings.  It is good for the soul!  Stress is a horrible enemy we all face and something we should battle against!  Rejoice!  Laugh!  Trust!  Love!!!

Philippians 4:4-8

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.  Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Five Minute Friday – Bloom

Bloom

A spring flower, a crocus pushes through the icy earth

Struggling for life

To add color to the dreary that lingers as winter fades.

 

In the corner of the yard,

An area neglected, forgotten and left to its own,

Without the careful tending, worrying, planning,

New growth, green and flourishing,

Pushes past the dead brush and into the light.

Blooming

 

Trials, like dead undergrowth, pull at us

Ensnaring our feet,

Attempting to keep us from moving,

From growing.  Holding us back.

 

“Bloom where you are planted”

A familiar term of encouragement,

Wisdom, Power

Strength

A much needed reminder.

 

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all of you heart, 

Lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him 

and He will make straight your paths.

 

Like the first flowers, determined to push on

Deciding to fight for life

Ignoring the darkness and reluctance

Choosing to bloom rather than wilt

Head up and moving

Bloom

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So Much To Love!

I love my hubby…thinking of our wedding I wonder how in the world we made it to today…several years later.  We were a couple of goofy people, in a long distance relationship found online.  We thought we knew each other because we had spent hours and hours on the phone talking.  We exchanged almost hundreds of emails (they were 10 cents or something a piece on Prodigy back then!!!) We really did not have a clue about each other!  Our wedding felt strange because it was more like two strangers meeting and tying the knot on a hope and prayer that all would be okay.  After the “I DO” Kent and I set out to work on the “I DO what?” and the “How do we do the      “I DO?”  Kent and I just hit it off and things just happened to work out.  

Wait, happened to work out?

That is a silly thing to say.  Nothing just happened…our faith in God and our trusting in Him is what has kept us together.  Through good times and downright icky times, Kent and I have worked together to keep our marriage together!  Our love continues, as love should.  Today, “I DO” still means a lot to Kent and me, making me one happy girl!

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Psalm 37-4

The love I have for my son is a whole different matter!  I will never forget the day my pregnancy was confirmed…a special kind of love affair began that day.  There is something pretty special about a mom’s love for her child.  It can’t be compared to anything else!     ( I pity the fool that messes with my son!!)  As years zip by, I marvel at how my little peanut has grown to an amazing man!

Love is a fascinating word that covers so much!!  Other languages have more than one word to explain love.  English has just one and it can cover a whole lot!  For instance, I love coffee and chocolate and enchiladas and Thai food and iced tea and pasta and curry and comfy jammies and cookies and swimming in the ocean.  I also love sunsets and sunrises, getting a Pedi in the afternoon, hearing from a friend after so many years and I love hot water.  I love waiting at the airport waiting to see my BFF walk down the walkway!  I love being with family, hearing a baby laugh and I never tire of a fresh breeze after a rain…and the SMELL after a Springtime rain!  

We have so many things to love and be thankful for…so many blessings in our lives…in my life.  

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Celebrate love and what love really is.  The best reminder, for me, of what love means is this Bible verse, the one Kent and I had recited at our wedding, like many do: 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.

When I follow this plan, all is well.  

I love LOVE!

 

The Look

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.  ~Mark Twain

There is a look, stern and deliberate, that my grandmother has when something is not going the way she planned.  I see it daily and the power of that look transports me to younger days.  She might be trying to stand and with her failing legs, her body does not cooperate as quickly as she desires.  The look.  She might be reaching for something, but her failing eyes cause her to look silly as she pinches only air and I see the look.  Or other times, when she asks for a glass of water, and I respond with, “Just a minute, Gram.” Glancing her way I catch the look.  

When I  was younger, the look came quicker and was more powerful.  The look meant “JUMP!” or “RUN!” Now, the look is more about the frustration of not being able to do…almost anything…without help.  The look is softer, weary, but still there.

It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.  ~Author Unknown

I think of about my grama in her younger days…toting a huge laundry basket full of wet clothes to the clothes line out back; weeding and watering her gardens for hours at a time.  She loved to cook and her kitchen was her castle!  Grama would put on a spread that would make Paula Deen’s jaw drop!  She was strong and capable.  Grama was in charge.  

 She did many things for work.  To name a few she was a nanny, a maid, a baker, she ironed other people shirts; she did physically demanding work in a lumber mill and she supervised the making of circuit boards for a communications company.  There was a time that Grama was a very busy woman!

Today, the strength is mostly gone.  She can barely lift her feet to walk.  She can only see and hear a fraction of the life that passes by her as she sits in her recliner by the window.

Is there anything left of the old woman in that recliner?

There is…there is the same love that I felt as a young girl, the same sparkle in her eyes as she says, “I love you!”  The generous spirit and the concern for others is there, as strong as ever.  Grama thinks about others all of the time, sometimes too much.  She can’t remember if she sent a birthday card to a friend, so she sends another, just in case.  One old and dear friend received 2, and possibly 3 “In Sympathy” cards a few months ago.  Grama would think of her and worry that she hadn’t sent word to Betty.  We would assure her that she had, but it wasn’t enough.  She called to be sure.  Her love and compassion drives her.  

 My grama will  be 98 in a month.  She often wonders why she is still here, shuffling through life.  There are nights when she says to my mom and me, “I love you.  Thank you for helping me and for all you do.  Just in case I am not here tomorrow, remember that I love you!”  In the morning, she smiles and says, “Still here!”

 We find laughter in most things and it brings me joy to be here, at this time, as I help Grama handle life.  It isn’t just me. Mom is here too.  The three of us share so much and it is a blessing….even in the stress of caregiving, there are blessings and joy.  God provided a way for us to be here, during this time, to care for a woman who has given so much to us for so very long.

I am feeling content and blessed this morning.

2 Corinthians 4:16   So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.